When my son was a baby, he once farted during a nappy change on the kitchen table at a friends' house, hitting me in the arm with a tiny piece of green shit. Clear across the room.
As an occupational hazard of having kids, I've retrieved innumerable brown fish out of the bath when it's the kids bathtime.
TOP TIP: Wet your hands and get a bit of soap on them first. And make sure the lid on the pot is up too, before scooping and throwing. Don't try to drop it in the toilet, it'll slide and leave more shit on your hands.
Also, never leave a turd in the bath, it will dissolve, only to coat every available surface.
As a last one, my wifes' cousin has worked in a succession of old peoples homes. In one place was a guy who used to shit in his hand and pack it behind the radiator in his room. They were always having to get the caretaker to take the radiator off and chisel baked shit off the wall, while the bloke moaned, "it's mine, it's mine."
No comments:
Post a Comment